I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
