Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Found your dick twin last night
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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