You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
