I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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