Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
