Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize