Well douche your snatch and let's go!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
