Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
