I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
