I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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