there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
The air taste purple.
Randomize