just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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