you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
