apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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