Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
