Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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