Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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