she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize