I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
