i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He felt like a one man threesome
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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