Moan for me like Helen Keller
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
