2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Sponge bath it is.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize