If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize