Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
