I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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