it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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