you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
