Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
