Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
