apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
