Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
