so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
