that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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