it's not cheating when I paid for it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I am mentally ready for anal.
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