So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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