I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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