My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
