We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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