It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
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