can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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