he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just found puke in my bra..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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