I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
