Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
