Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have fence marks all over my body
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize