I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
