is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
