Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
