So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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