You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
