I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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