if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
