Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
