Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So. Much. Porn.
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