I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize