do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
