was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
