Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
