In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
