she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
