just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
