SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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