So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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