I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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