The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
