A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
