I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just blew my weed a kiss
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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