Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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