I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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