forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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