Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
