This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
