She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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