did you get engaged???
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
