Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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