Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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