went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize