that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
