hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
