I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize