marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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