hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
