my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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