I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
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