you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
