Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
