I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
